Distracted

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village.  A woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.  But Martha was “distracted” with much serving.  And she went up to Him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Tell her to help me.”  But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10: 38-42

All my life, as long as I can remember, I have identified with the distracted sister,  Martha.  

In school, I struggled to keep a B or C average even though I knew I was just as smart as anyone else.  My main problem had nothing to do with learning disabilities.  It was distractions.  If the classroom door was open, I was watching the janitor sweep the hallway or counting how many people walked by wearing a blue shirt.  If a pencil and paper were within reach, I was doodling all over the page, lost in my own world of doodle art and daydreams, complete with its own soundtrack from the music that constantly plays over and over in my happy-go-lucky little head.  

When High School rolled around, I became even more distracted given the smorgasbord of extracurricular activities offered to happy, fun seeking and outgoing girls like me.  My high school days were filled with fun, cheerleading, friends, sports and of course, boys.  (Yes, the opposite sex was always a pretty big distraction.)  I wanted to make good grades and I knew I was capable, but again, I was distracted. 

After graduation, I attended a faith based college to study Secretarial Science.  (Yes, that was actually a major field of study back in my collegiate days.)  After all, I figured I needed something to fall back on just in case my first career choice of becoming a singer or famous movie star didn’t work out.  

College was such fun!  So many new freedoms away from the parents for the first time.  Parties, friends, social activities, but as you may have guessed, once again I got distracted and it didn’t take me long.  By Spring semester it was apparent to everyone, including myself, that I needed to pack up, head home and get a regular job.  Mama’s health had rapidly declined while I was away, and I’ve never regretted going home being close to Mama during her last few months with us.  Besides, I could always go back to school later and finish my degree, but then…again, distraction reared its ugly, little head.

A full time job, a husband, two children and a busy schedule over the past 30 years or so have at times been a real challenge for someone who is easily distracted like me.  Like Martha, I stay busy all the time. Today I look back over my life and am able to clearly see a number of missed opportunities, unmet goals and unrealized dreams all because I have allowed myself to become distracted.  Yes, I’m a Martha.  Also like Martha, I seem to pour my energy into the temporary things that seem to matter and be important at the time, but don’t hold much importance to the big picture that is my life. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about distractions and how they affect not only my own life, but the lives of people around me.  Now, more than ever, we have so many things that pull us away from the important things that truly matter.  Listen, I love technology and being ‘connected’, but at the same time, I’m so thankful smart phones, social media and 24/7 connectivity was not a ‘thing’ when my husband and I were raising our girls.  Why?  Because I KNOW ME!  I would be that Mom sitting in the stands at the gym or ball field missing her child’s big moment because I was focused on this little rectangular “window to the world” that would, in essence, remove me from my own.  That’s right, I would miss the important things, those little moments in time that you can never get back.

I want to take this opportunity to talk to all parents of young children, both Moms and Dads.   Listen, I see you and I want you to know that I get it, I totally do!  Please know that I’m not judging you.  I can’t really judge you because, well....I am one of you!  I see you when your children are calling for you, four, five and six times but you don’t hear them because you’re on your phone.  Then maybe you snap at them as if they have interrupted something serious or something really important.  This happens numerous times throughout the day, every day, every week.  I see it all around me and it makes me sad.  It also makes me just a little bit thankful.  I'm thankful that I didn’t have the extra distraction of smart phones and social media to deal with while we were raising our kids.

Going back (waaaaaay back) to when I was a very young girl, back when telephones hung on the kitchen wall, most Moms stayed home with their kids.  Then, gradually, Moms started going to work.  Finally, our Mom did.  I can't tell you how our lives changed after that and unfortunately, it wasn't for the good.  The presence and security of having a parent that was accessible 24-7 is a valuable asset for any child.  A common phrase coined during those years was, “It’s about quality time, not quantity of time.”  Somehow, I guess, that made parents feel better about leaving their children in the care of someone else.  Society also came up with a new descriptive for children caring for themselves after school - “Latch-Key kids”.  There was a time when my siblings and I were those kids.  We got off the school bus in the afternoon and came home to an empty house.  Although it was necessary at the time, I didn't like being a latch key kid, and many times resented it, but I digress.  I’m waiting for someone to name kids of today’s generation.  Maybe they could call them “Twitter Tots” or “Cyber Kids”, often being raised on a steady diet of technology driven media and outside influences.

 The sad thing is that now, not only is the amount of time we spend with our kids short, but that “quality time” has all but disappeared in many cases.  Today, children have to share the two to three hours they get to spend with their parents with the social media world.  After a while, the children learn that it’s just not worth competing with that world and sadly, they are getting lost in a cyber world of their own.  Tablets, video games, and many times, children as young as seven or eight years old are being handed a smart phone of their own.  Really Mom and Dad?  This really does scare me.  I can tell you honestly that we never had a minute of trouble from our daughters until we handed the oldest a cell phone at the age of 15.  When you give them a phone of their own, you’re in essence inviting the outside world to come into your home and be a part of your circle of influence on your children in ways you can’t even imagine.  My advice is to try hard to resist getting them a phone too early and when you do, you may want to think twice about making it a smart phone. Talk about distractions!  After all, do we realize how little time we actually have to raise these little ones?  Did I realize it?  No.  It seems like raising youngin's will last forever, then one day you blink and they’re grown, gone, and that precious time we've been given to impact them is over.

So, to all you Moms, Dads, and even Grandparents (I’m talking to myself right here), let’s put our phones and computers away when our little ones are around.  They can feel our distractions and it translates to them something totally different than what we intend to convey. I imagine that to them, you don’t care enough to watch them, don’t care enough to hear them, don’t care enough to answer them and in their opinion, you don’t care about them.  “Ouch!”  I know, that hurts to hear, doesn’t it?  It hurts me to think I have been guilty of these things with not only my grandchild, but my grown children and spouse.  Why?  Because I'm distracted.  There's that word again!

I felt led to write this because I’m tired of distractions keeping me from what’s important in my own life.  I’m bad enough about it myself, but I see people all around me who are even more distracted and I’m worried about the effect it is having and going to have later on our entire world.  I can't help but feel this is a trap of the old devil himself to keep us away from the things we should be doing.  

Personally, I resolve today to be more intentional about where my focus lies.  I want to live in the real world, my world, the here and the now.  I want to give my sweet Granddaughter the attention she needs while she is still young enough to actually want it.  I want to engage in better conversation in the evenings with my husband after we both have had a long day at the office and truly be there for him to listen when he needs me to hear. I want to spend more time listening to God through his word and less time listening to what the world wants me to hear through tainted media.

Will you join me today in turning off some of the distractions in our life and becoming more intentional and focused?  I know our world and our families will be much better off if we do. I believe our very future depends on it.  - Hugs!  Moe

“I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you.  I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.  1 Corinithians 7:35