Tribute to a Life Well Lived

 

They say everybody has a story and some stories simply beg to be told.  This is one of those stories. 

Pam’s story began on December 9, 1957.  Pamela Annette McGill, born the 4^th child to a couple who were told they could have no children but would eventually have 6.  I always thought it was cool that Pam’s initials spelled out her name……..P-A-M.  As a young girl, I also thought it was very cool that Pam was born on the same day as one of our teen heartthrobs, Donny Osmond.  The only person I knew that was born on my birthday was Minnie Pearl.  Life just didn’t seem fair. 

Growing up, Pam was always a Daddy’s girl.  It could be due to the fact that she favored his side of the family more, or maybe it was because she had that incredible and sometimes quirky sense of humor, a silliness and zest for life like our dad possessed.   Whatever it was, Pam was destined to become a pivotal part of the McGill family composition. 

Since our family had lost our brother Roy Allen from spinal meningitis at a year old, Pam was born as the middle child in our family of five kids.

  As some of you may understand, being a middle child can be a challenge.  But being a middle child AND a preacher’s kid is something only other preacher’s kids who are middle children can relate to.  Early life with five kids in the McGill household was sometimes chaotic and at times, Pam seemed to be stuck in the middle, torn between being one of the big kids or hanging out with us “babies”. 

Our maternal Grandmother (who we affectionally named “Granny”) lived with us at times and helped Mom and Dad with the daily tasks of raising five rambunctious children in a minister’s home.  We all knew that Granny loved us but her love for Pam translated into a unique bond that only those two would share.  Granny was a storyteller.  She would create the most vivid bedtime stories straight out of her imagination that would enthrall us kids and keep us in suspense until the next storytime rolled around.  We even got to where we actually looked forward to bedtime just so we could hear the adventures she would create from her very vivid imagination.  Granny created a love for language and literature in us that we all adopted, but especially our two sisters, Janie, and Pam. 

Granny Pearl holding baby Pam

Pam held onto that love of reading throughout her life.  She could pick up a 500-page novel in the morning and have it read cover to cover by the next afternoon.  I tribute the best characteristics of my sweet sister to the nurture, teaching, and compassionate care she received early in life from our beloved Granny.  When Granny passed away in 1972, a big piece of Pam’s heart went with her.  She would never recover that missing piece but somehow as she grew older, Pam’s personality took on the traits we all loved most about our dear Granny Pearl. 

Pam with Grandmother McGill 

And what was it that endeared the older generation to Pam?  I’m not sure I know exactly, but our other Grandmother, Grandmother McGill, who had something like 28 grandchildren in total once told Pam, “Now, don’t tell the other kids, but you have always been my favorite grandchild.”  She didn’t have to tell us - we already knew.  There was just something about Pam that naturally drew people to her. As her story is told, maybe you will understand why.

The late ’60s were some of the happiest times for our family.  This is a picture of the Ooltewah Church of God where our Dad preached for 5 years. 

My sisters and I talked often about those years and how special they were to our family.  The connections made in those simple times have lasted through the decades for our family. 

McGill Family circa 1967

Janie would meet her husband Mickey during that time and they have now been married for 51 years.  Pam was Janie's maid of honor and Rodney and I were flower girl and ring bearer in the wedding. Our handsome Daddy performed the ceremony.  

In the early seventies, our family fell on some hard times.  Our Dad was a welder by trade and had left the ministry temporarily to go back into the labor force.  Our Mom, who had been a housewife their entire marriage, had to find a job outside the home to make ends meet.  Our country was involved in the Vietnam War, Inflation was high, wages were low and a lot of families were struggling, ours was no exception.  Janie and Mickey had married and moved to West Tennessee and after high school, Terry moved out on his own.  With Mom and Dad both working outside the home, more responsibility fell on Pam as the middle child.  She became not only a teenager trying to survive growing up in the ’70s, but she was now the family cook, housekeeper, and a most reluctant caregiver to her two younger siblings.  (Who were, by the way, perfect angels...most of the time.)  Pam was a cool babysitter, pretty much letting us do as we pleased, and looking back, we could have made things a lot easier on her, but we were, after all, Preacher's Kids and we did have a PK reputation to uphold. 

Pam serving up some Christmas punch

In the summertime, we spent our time doing what most kids of the ’70s did – we watched game shows on TV.  While Mom and Dad were at work we would watch The Newlywed Game, Family Feud, Let’s Make a Deal, Match Game, and our all-time favorite – The Price is Right.  For a while, we even got hooked on soap operas like General Hospital and All My Children.  

We played with the neighborhood kids, rode our bikes, went swimming at the Church of God campground (Girls pool on the left, boys on the right), and even did a few chores when we absolutely had to.  

For lunch, Pam would fix us potted meat sandwiches mixed with mayo and dill pickles and we drank many cans of Shasta sodas because Mama got ‘em on sale 12/$1.00 at the M&J. 

Mama shopped at M&J because they gave away S&H Green Stamps. For those of you too young to remember S&H Green Stamps, just google it. 

Most days, around 4:00 in the afternoon, Pam would turn off the TV at which point we would do a cleaning blitz through the house because mama expected it to be clean and supper made when they got home.  I can still see the three of us running through the house picking up, cleaning up messes we had made, and making sure all our chores were done, hoping Mama would think we had cleaned all day.

Like most siblings do, there were times we fought.  At other times, we fought even harder.  One time I remember, Mama cut Pam’s beautiful nails back so she would stop scratching us in our squabbles.  Not long ago Pam told me she hasn’t had pretty nails ever since.  Although we fought, most of the time, we didn’t.  We stuck together and although it was fine for us to pick on each other, we never allowed an outsider to do it.  Pam took up for us with the neighborhood bullies and always had our back. Most of them were afraid of her because she was always quick to put them in their place.

Pam watched out for us as best as a teenager could and for me, she became like my second Mom, teaching me about life - what to do, what not to do, and basically, just how to survive.  Pam was never good at sneaking or lying, she would always get caught whenever she tried.  With Pam, what you saw was what you got – she was the "real McCoy".  In recent years, I was reminded that if you don’t want to know the truth about a subject, don’t talk to Pam about it because she would give you her fact-based opinion on the matter, delivered with love of course – and she was usually right. She told me a few weeks ago that she didn't think she would be going home.  How I wish she had not been right this time.  

Pam became a great cook at an early age.  She introduced us to many new exotic foods!  Foods like Chef Boyardee Pizza in a box (a Friday night favorite), Tacos with home fried shells (which my sister Janie taught her how to make), and best of all and still our favorite, Kraft “box Spaghetti”.  Through the years, Pam and I have shared many a box of this savory cuisine.  I opened up her pantry just the other day and there sat a box of this delectable dish.  If you haven’t tried it, Food City still sells it and you can thank me later.

Pam was gifted with a baby boy in the late summer of 1976.  I always remembered Jeremy’s birth year because our country celebrated its bicentennial that year.  It was hard being an unwed mother in the ’70s but Pam was determined to give Jeremy the best life she possibly could.  She got a job working the evening shift at Olan Mills downtown Chattanooga on Carter Street.  Mama had retired from there on disability and kept Jeremy when she was able while Pam worked.  Those years were hard on Pam with Mom’s health declining, Dad working out of town a lot and Rodney and I being teenagers absorbed in our own little worlds. 

Pam didn’t realize it, but her life was about to change in a big way when she met her knight in shining armor, Shannon. Well, he wasn’t exactly a Knight riding in on a white steed, but rather a Prince who drove up in a sporty white Mercury Capri with two little Princesses in tow.  

Pam & Shannon the early years

Tammy and Renee

Pam met Shannon, at my brother Rodney’s wedding. You see, Rodney’s wife Kim and Shannon are cousins and as fate would have it, Pam was serving cake at the reception alongside Kim’s two sisters when she leaned in a little too close to one of the candles on the table catching the lace collar of her pink dress on fire.  Luckily, as any prince would do when a damsel was in distress, he helped her to put out the flame, at the same time, sparking a new flame that has burned for over 41 years.  

Pam Christopher, Pam McGill and Debbie Christopher. 
This is the famous pink dress and these are the candles that started the flame.

Here is where I say, “And they lived happily ever after”, right?  Well, the story continues.

Not long after Rodney’s wedding, Pam was scheduled to report for duty in the Air Force but as her departure date approached, she knew she couldn’t leave her new love behind, so she changed her mind about her call to service and answered another call – the call to matrimony.  In November of 1980 these two love birds tied the knot. 

Their family was made up of his, hers, and eventually theirs when their daughter Beth came along in 1984.  

Times weren’t always easy for this newly blended family but these two were determined to make it work.  Juggling kids, jobs and at times utter chaos, both of them pursued their education – Shannon in electronics and Pam going back to school after many years to become an RN.  Pam always had a knack for taking care of others whether it be pets, siblings, or the runt of the litter from Daddy’s brief stint as a pig farmer (that’s a story for another day).  In 1981, when Mom’s health declined Pam stepped in to make sure she was taken care of.  Some people are just born to be caregivers it seems, and that was our Pam.  Nurse Pammy, as I liked to call her.  

When Mama died, I was nineteen and had just graduated from high school.  Daddy was still working outages with TVA and traveling, so Pam and Shannon let me stay at their house a lot and when I say a lot, I mean I moved in.  We had some good times staying up late watching movies after the kids went to bed, talking, singing with Shannon on guitar, and just being silly.  I’ve always been grateful for Shannon allowing his new wife’s kid sister to crash on their couch during that time.  Life rolled on through the eighties and nineties.  Working, raising kids, moving from their little house in Piney to their bigger spread on Creek Road.  Together, Pam and Shannon built a wonderful life for their kids and grandkids that were to come.  Jeremy had found a perfect life mate in Stephanie and Pam loved her and was so happy when they welcomed their little son Joseph into the world and into their family.

But as with all life stories, sometimes you get thrown an unexpected curveball.  Tragedy struck in the Fall of 2000 and we watched Pam’s heartbreak into a million pieces upon hearing the news that her son Jeremy had died unexpectedly.  She always said the loss of a child was the worst thing a human could endure and having children of my own, I’m pretty sure she was right.  

The last picture of Jeremy with little sister Beth

As tragic as this loss was for her, Pam was a survivor and managed to forge on through the grief, living her life, taking care of her family, her patients, and continuing to be a blessing to everyone around her. During those years, I was able to stay home with my kids.  Pam was such a lifesaver for me when we were raising the girls – coaching me how to take care of a sick baby over the phone, giving me advice and guidance like a Mother usually does for her daughter. She was always careful when giving out medical advice and would sometimes add, “but I’m not a doctor”.  I knew that, but I am pretty certain she was as smart as many of the doctors I knew so I took her advice to heart.  

During those years on her days off from work we would get together at least every couple of weeks and go shopping, do some crafting or just spend time together cleaning her big house. She would pay me for helping her because she said I needed some “play money”. For lunch on those days, we would eat our favorite – boxed spaghetti.  Sometimes we could get Janie to take a day off from teaching so we could have a sister day.  We had our last sister day in early June of this year when we drove to Pikeville to see Janie after her knee surgery.

Sister Days were always lots of fun!

I went to work at Memorial in 2003 and fortunately for me, my office was just down the hall from the Critical Care Unit where Pam worked.  Many days Pam would walk by my office door and stick her head in to say hi.  When she was in a big hurry she would just make goofy faces at me as she passed by.

Pam was excited to get to meet
Dr. Travis Stork from The Doctors
TV Show

I will forever treasure these memories of her at work.  We tried to have lunch every now and then, but I quickly learned that if you are a critical care nurse, you don’t get to take many lunch breaks, usually just eating on the run, a bite at a time.  Sometimes she would say, “Moe, I haven’t even had time to pee – I sure don’t have time to stop and eat lunch.”  The life of a nurse is hard ya’ll.    

One day I badged myself into CCU to see if she had a minute to chat.  That particular day when I turned the corner, I walked in on my sister and about 6 other nurses lifting and turning a critically ill patient who weighed in excess of 500 pounds.  At that very moment, it hit me what a hero my sister really was.  This was just another day in the unit for Pam and her co-workers but to me, it was an image I’ll never forget, and it made an impact on how I viewed my sister from that moment on. 

Pam with some of her work family, the awesome nurses in CCU

Pam and Nurse Issac

I had a better understanding of the lifesaving, life-changing work she and the others did and I knew, as did everyone else in the unit, she was good at it.  As her baby sister, I could not have been prouder.  I am 100% sure that our world is a better place because Nurse Pammy was in it. 

Pam retired from nursing in May of 2018 due to some health complications that made it hard to continue the 12-hour shifts her career required.  We had hoped for a nice long retirement and for Shannon to get to retire with her soon so they could enjoy their hard-earned golden years.  But again, as all life stories do, there are twists, turns, and unexpected chapters that take us to places we don’t always want to go.  But Pam’s story?  It isn’t over.  How do I know? 

First of all, Pam’s story continues on in her precious family and a host of friends who will cherish her memory, continue her legacy of caring for others, and follow her shining example of a life well-lived.  The next time we see her, she won’t be short of breath or aching in her joints, having issues with digestion, or feeling tired.  I like to think that she will be running to us with open arms and that sweet, trademark smile that we all loved. 

Secondly, the Bible tells us in II Timothy 4:8 that “Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”  Family and friends, we can rest in that hope knowing that one day, we will see Pam again.  God looks upon the heart and I am sure when he looked at Pam’s heart he saw what we all did.  A heart full of love, of service and a deeply held faith.  So many prayers were lifted on Pam's behalf as she laid up in that hospital bed that I can't help but wonder if one of the angels approached the throne and said, "Lord, this one sure is loved by so many people on earth. Anybody loved that much must be something special. Can we go get her now?" So they did.

Pam playing on her phone in route to the
beach in early June of this year before
her hospitalization.

Rest easy sis, until we meet again.