Let go...

It's been awhile since my last blog update, but lately I have been feeling a little bit unsettled.  Who knows why?  Maybe it's the weather.  You know the feeling, when old man winter is trying to hang on for all it's worth, but Spring is coming on full speed ahead.  You never know how to dress, whether to take a heavy coat or just a light jacket.  But really, that's probably not the root of my distress.

I know!  It could it be the political unrest in our country and the fact that no matter what form of media we are exposed to, it's just more of the same gloom and doom.  That could drag even the most positive of people down.  I've got to admit, the current status of our economy and the erosion of traditional family values is terribly upsetting to this traditional, ultra conservative girl, but I don't think that's it either.

Do you want to know what I believe is making me feel unsettled? (I''m sure you're on the edge of your seats just waiting for this one!)  Here it is.  It's the realization that life as I know it is about to change in a very dramatic way.  (No, I'm not divorcing my husband and running off to another galaxy with Patrick Stewart, although over the course of our 29 year marriage I have threatened to do so many times!)  BTW, if you don't know who Patrick Stewart is, he was Captain Jean Luc Pickard of the Starship Enterprise, (Star Trek - The Next Generation.)  He is one of the only famous people I've ever looked up to.  Oh, and don't worry....the hub knows and allows me this one infatuation.  :)  


Anyhow, the big change is coming at the end of May, when my youngest daughter Lindsey will graduate from High School, then go off to college in the Fall.  I know, I know....everyone has to go through the old "empty nest" thing, but this is not supposed to be happening yet....not now....not this soon.  You see, it was only a couple of years ago in the delivery room at East Ridge Hospital in Chattanooga when I literally "coughed" Lindsey out into this world - across the labor and delivery room into the waiting arms of my sweet husband who just happened to be standing nearby.  (I had a bad case of bronchitis and despite the nurse warning me not to cough, I ignored her warnings and coughed our little bundle of joy right out like a speeding bullet straight into her Daddy's arms!)  True story!  

And wasn't it only weeks ago when we laced up her first pair of high top basketball shoes to play co-ed, rec-league basketball at the age of five?  I will always cherish those early Saturday mornings at the elementary school gym where my baby girl learned the fundamentals of a game that she would quickly grow to love.  Oh, and the pig tails, who can forget the little curled under pig tails that became her trade mark "do". 

 I'll never forget dropping her off at school, clothes clean and crisply ironed with a pretty bow in her hair.  When I would pick her up in the afternoon, she was usually muddy from head to toe and no hair bow in sight.  That was just Lindsey.  One day, I drove up to the after school pick-up line in our brand new mini van and they brought Lindsey out in a lawn and leaf trash bag because she had skidded head first into a mud hole on the playground and they didn't want my van to get all dirty.  And I'm sure it was only yesterday when, while on a family vacation to Florida, Lindsey ran up to a vending machine on a restaurant dock, grabbed a big handful of fish food remnants, crammed it in her mouth and said, "mmm, peanuts!" 

The sleepovers, cuddling with her sister watching television, the family trips to Disney, year round team sports, the friends, the laughter, the tears...all these times we thought would never end are about to become distant memories to hold forever in the special place in your mind where only parents can go.  I'm sure I will have to visit there many times in order to make it through this next year.  You know, if I could, I would do the old "back to the future" thing and run the clock back just to get to relive these moments, but I know I can't.  (Where's Michael J. Fox when you need him?)   

I was just talking to my dental hygienist today and she told me a sweet story of when her daughter left home for the first time and she went into her room, knelt by her bed and cried, then her husband joined her.  (I can so see us doing that and I even teared up when she was telling me about it.)  She went on to say that "Yes, it's hard, but once you get through the initial hurt, it's really good."  I have already been through some letting go with my oldest daughter Briana, but she, her husband and sweet little Tatum are here with us every day, so that makes it a little easier on that front.  I'm sure I'll live through this.

But to me, there is nothing that compares with being blessed to be the mother of my two beautiful, talented and precious gifts from God, Briana and Lindsey.  I look to their future with great hope and faith that God will keep them in his hand and guide them all the days of their lives.  After all, the Bible tells us.... 

"Train up a child in the way he should go: 

and when he is old , he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

I'm going to claim that promise.  Love yall and thanks for visiting my blog!

  

New Year, New Me?

I've had choices since the day that I was born
There were voices that told me right from wrong
If I had listened, no I wouldn't be here today
Living and dying with the choices I've made
- George Jones 

As I have done most of my adult life, once again I have set some personal goals for myself for the new year.  Ah yes, the New Year's Resolution.  Wikipedia describes a New Year's resolution as a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects or the reforming of a habit.   I personally can't remember a year that I haven't made at least one resolution.  Sometimes I am successful, but I admit, most times I am not.  Okay, truthfully, I've never been successful at it - ever.  Usually by about oh, say the 25th my resolution begins to run out of steam.  If I am able to make it to February, well Valentine's day comes around and we all know how much chocolate is staring us in the face in Februrary!  Mmmmm.  If my lack of motivation and self control doesn't sabotage my efforts, it's the fact that I seem to be suffering from memory loss....."Now, what was it I'm not supposed to be eating?"

So here I am in the infancy of the New Year -  2013.  I'm not sure why, but this year, something seems different.  Perhaps it's because I turned 50 in October and now realize that I need to get control of my weight and develop healthy habits if I'm gonna get to stick around.  Or maybe it's my becoming a grandmother that's done it.  (By the way, maybe it's just me, but just thinking about myself being old enough to be a grandmother puts me in the mindset that I better go ahead and start picking out my nursing home.  Yipes, definitely not ready for that!)  I seem to have more willpower and more "stick-to-it-iveness" all of a sudden.   Finally, after constantly feeding myself a steady mental diet of positive messages to ensure success, I've decided that I really AM the one person who can make a change in my habits.  Well, DUH Melissa!   No diet guru, personal trainer or motivational speaker can control whether or not I stuff my pie hole at snack time with a cup of yogurt or if I choose to scarf down a Three Musketeer's bar.  (Three Musketeer's bars are, after all, lighter than most candy bars, you know.....at least that's what I've always told my chubby little self.)  Whatever the reason is, I'm starting to enjoy my new found streak of CONTROL over my life.

Don't you think that's really what the big issue is here....CONTROL?  After all, who or what is in control of our lives?  Is it

• Fate?  "My grandmother was heavy, my Mom was heavy, my sisters are heavy, I'm destined to be too."  Of course genetics plays a huge role, but I know a lot of people who have proven you can rise above your genetic propensity to be overweight.  I am built exactly like my Grandmother on my Dad's side and the older I get the more I see the similarities.
• Outside influences?  "I eat when I get stressed and my job has been so stressful lately that there is no way I could lose weight right now."  or  "I could never get my family to eat healthy and as long as I have to cook for them, I can't do anything about my own diet."  Really?  Don't we think our families deserve to eat healthy too to avoid the situation we find ourselves in?  Here's an excuse I've always used, "Biting my nails is a stress reliever for me, there's no way I could stop and besides, I've done it all my life."  
• Preconceived ideas about dieting?  It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking the types of foods we need to eat to lose weight consist of carrot sticks, cottage cheese and lettuce and that we can never have another bite of any food that we love.  I have learned that nothing could be further from the truth.  Several "experts" at work have taught me that healthy food can also be delicious food.  It's just a matter of knowing how to buy it at the grocery store, then how to prepare it when you get it home.  GRITS (girls raised in the south) like me, didn't even know some of these foods existed!  (Case in point:  Quinoa)

I am a firm believer that each person is the maker of his/her own destiny.  I have always known that whatever situation I find myself in, if I really think back and trace the steps that got me there, I am ultimately responsible for where I am.  When I'm in a mess, it has been my own negative choices that have put me there.  (And believe me, I've made messes of things from time-to-time.)  On the other hand, if I'm doing well and have experienced success at something, I can usually pinpoint the good decisions and choices I've made that led me to that success. 

I guess I've said all this just to let you know that today I CHOOSE GOOD OVER BAD.  To be more specific:

• I choose wholesome, natural, healthy foods rather than the foods I have consumed in the past.
• I choose to stop unhealthy personal habits that I have done all my life.  (i.e. nail biting)
• I choose to be more proactive instead of procrastinating so much.
• I choose to be more savvy in my finances.  (No more credit cards for me!)
• I choose to spend more time in personal study of God's word.  (This one should have really been at the top of the list!)
• I choose to be more kind, more helpful and more like Christ instead of getting caught up in evil habits of judging, self-serving and walking through life with blinders on to the pain and circumstances of others with whom I share this planet.

Yall, there are so many other choices that I could name here that would greatly improve the quality of my life, but hey, this is a good start, don't cha think?  Besides, if I fix everything this year, what would I do for a New Year's resolution next year?  Say some prayers for me, wish me luck and time will tell if 2013 is truly "My Year".  (And if anybody offers me a Three Musketeer's Bar, I will probably take it, eat it, enjoy it then get right back on the wagon.)  

Until next time,

Moe

Hi and welcome to my very first blogsperience!!!  This is going to be fun, I just know it!!!  I have had a desire to create a blog of my own for quite some time but have had so many random ideas, I had a hard time harnessing them all into one "comprehensive" idea for the blog-o-sphere.

You see, this past October I turned 50.  (Yeah, I know most women don't go around advertising their age, especially if it's over 29, but to be honest....i'm really quite proud that I made it to the ripe old age of 50!)  Who knew I'd last this long?  Anyhow, I decided that if I was going to do some things that are on my bucket list, I'd better start now.  Top of my list?  Start a blog.  And what better time to start than the beginning of a new year, the beginning of my next half-century?

The title of my blog is "BORN TO".  I came up with this name because a few days ago I began to wonder (as I have many times in my life), what I was really born to do.  Was I born to become a wife and mother?  Was I born to use my creative talents in music or crafts and floral design to enhance the lives of others?  Was I born to work a 7 to 3 job, come home to cook and clean, go to bed and do it all again the next day?  (Yuck, I hope that's not it!)

I am a Christian, so I know I was born to "....fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man" (Ecclesiastes 12:13) and all that, but I couldn't help but wonder....what else is there that I am supposed to be doing that I am leaving undone?  I know God didn't give me all these tools to keep them in my tool bag and get rusty from lack of use!  I just wish they came with instructions.  Tell me, has anyone else out there ever felt this way?  I hope I'm not alone in my wonderings.....

So, this blog is part of my journey to discover the next 50 years.  Won't you join me?  Check back here often to see how I'm doing in my discovery.  One things for sure, life is a magnificent adventure and it's always more fun to share it with friends!  TTFN!  (ta-ta-for-now) - Melissa (aka Moe)